20 Rites of passage for every Nairobian
If you are reading this from Ghana or Nigeria, you will found out that, a lot of these happen here too. Check out the list of certain inevitable ‘rites of passage’ as observed by The Standard Digital that one must go through before he/she becomes a true and certified Nairobian. Some are not rites per se, but rightful conclusions, informed by skepticism only borne by a city that stops, starts and stops yet again. Here is how you know you are a Nairobian...
1. You must have been approached by the same person twice with the same cock and bull story about not having bus fare to some far-flung estate.
2. If a man, you must have passed through Sabina Joy out of sheer curiosity. If women have touched your groin area and you were persuaded to make a bargain, you are now a Nairobian. Come for your certificate. 3. You have been caught in a teargas mess and you had to run for your dear life. This comes courtesy of rioting students or hawkers.
4. You must be picked in a matatu. You only realised when you alighted and cursed the day you were born. If a woman, your handbag has ever been shorn through and emptied as you fiddled with your phone.
5. You have been sold a fake electronic gadget, more out of your greed and the characteristic lack of patience to examine carefully what you are being sold. 6. You laugh when you listen to a story about someone being conned.
7. You have since learned the best time to escape town as clouds gather, lest you pay double or triple the bus fair.
8. You have given up on the national broadcaster.
9. A landlord has ever stuck with your rent deposit and all you did was curse incessantly, threaten until you gave up.
10. You have reached a point you loathe bus preachers.
Credit: Standard Digital
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